January 16, 2013.. @ 2:30am.. the time when my mom finally decided to leave this stressful world.. It was very painful.. But we have to let go. I don’t wanna see my mom suffering anymore.. She had been a very good fighter. She fought till the last hours.. She was the best and greatest mother. I really miss her. Every corner of this house reminds me of her. Time runs so fast.. I can’t wait to hug and kiss her again. I LOVE YOU, MOMMY.

No one could really understand. No one knew the true story. Some would even tell me na it’s my fault. So here goes the true story.. Mehehe. Actually, He broke up with last May. And I was really shocked. I didn’t even know the true reason. Then, i tried to patch things up for three times. YES, three times and yes, i was rejected. So, I decided to let go and move on. Soo.. No communication for more than 3 weeks. Then suddenly nagkita kame. Ayun, he acted na kunyari walang nangyari. Then he decided balikan ako. Hello? Ganun kadali? I mean, like.. he rejected me for three times. Then yun, sinusuyo nya ako for months. Yes, months. Di ako nakipagbalikan for the reason na he’s not worth it. Why? Ikaw ba naman. Babalikan mo ba ang tao na mumurahin ka without any reason? Like, bigla magtetext para lang awayin ka? Lol. Unfair kaya nun. Nung ikaw nakikipagayos, siya pa yung pakaro. Tapos nung masaya ka na.. Dun pa sya eeksena. Ang gulo. But then, lumambot ako. After several months, mkkpagpagbalikan na sana ako.. as in like okay kame nun. But then biglang ayaw nya na. For the reason na, ang dami. Grabe lang. Iba-iba kada araw. Iba-iba sa iba-ibang tao. Kesyo, He wanted to stay single, he grew tired, and religion. WTF. Siya pa ang napagod? Ako nga yung buhusan nya ng sama ng loob. Tapos tinanggap ko mura nya, pinalampas ko yun. Kahit WALA siyang oras at effort, pinalampas ko yun. Though, hindi ako nag give up agad..Pero i think enough na. I did my part. Actually, naging mabait pa sya sakin, kase naawa ako saknya, may requirement syang kelangang gawin to pass the subject, eh ako gumawa kasi gsto ko pumasa sya. ANG BAIT NYA NUN. With the iloveyou’s, imissyou’s.. Grabe lang. But after that? Sinabi nya sa friend nya na gusto nya pa ng  ”KAME”.. Pero nung tinanong ko to sknya, sabi nya “Sinabi ko lang yun kasi alam kong mababasa mo” ARAY LANG. Wew. Currently, he’s flirting na with a bitch. Hahahaha. Lol. Pwera bitter, she’s a bitch. I mean, marami na syang nakasamang guys sa bed. Mehehe. Baka gutum ex ko sa ganun. Kaya.. I need to let go. I need someone who knows my worth. :>

Isa sila sa mga pinagkakatiwalaan ko. Alam mo yung feeling na, naging masydong one sided. Ayos lang yun. Ayos lang na sabihin niyo i don’t deserve gem. Ganun ba, swerte na ako kay Gem? Okay na yun. Eto kasi yun. Ako yung naging masama? Bakit, kase di ko nakwento o di niya nakwento na nung nahuli kame ng LTO, ako yung sinisi nya. Ako yung muntikan ng mhulog, hinila bag nya, at ako pa sinigawan at pinababa sa mcdo at pinalakad papuntang adzu. Tapos, sa tuwing nagmumurahan kame ni gem, ayos lang pag ako minumura? Oo, di niya ako minura. Sinabihan nya lang ako ng Putang ina ako. Bakit, sa tuwing sinasabihan ako ni gem na ayaw sa akin ng parents nya, tingin nila di ako nasasaktan? i mean, ayos lang kung ako masama. pero sana isipin nyo rin mga pinaggagawa niya sa akin. Kara kara kung lumandi. ICOMPARE ANG PAST sa PRESENT. Tingin nila madali yun? Ang masaklap dun, kaibigan ko kayo. O tama bang tawagin ko kayong kaibigan? Hindi ko sinsabi na mali si gem. Ang akin lang, bakit napakaone sided? 

That the feeling’s already gone? </3